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FUNNY CLEAN TEXT MESSAGES CRACK

I haven't spoken to my wife in four years.

That's ridiculous, I didn't even know it was today!

My kid is blaming me for ruining their birthday.

What vegetable is cool, but not that cool? Radish.

I wish my gray hair started in Las Vegas because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's popcorn?.

What's the difference between a man's wallet before and after kids? There are pictures where the money used to be.

I'm thinking I should do lunges to stay in shape.

Am I the only man my wife has ever dated? Unfortunately yes, she said the others were all nines or tens!.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.

What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barberqueue.

How do you follow Will Smith in the Mud? Follow the fresh prints.

How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.

What's the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu? One requires tweetment and the other an oinkment.

What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday.What happened when the blue ship and the red ship collided at sea? Their crews were marooned.What's 90 degrees but covered with ice? The North and South Poles.What did one plate whisper to the other plate? Dinner is on me.Maybe he'll surprise Ree (who has the best mom jokes, we should add) and tell her he's on a seafood diet-he sees food, then he eats it! Go ahead and test out a few of these cringe-worthy yet hilarious best dad jokes on your friends and family-you're guaranteed to get a laugh! These so-bad-they're-good one-liners, puns, and funny jokes for kids are appropriate for any time of day, month, or year! We're sure that Ree Drummond's husband Ladd appreciates a cheesy dad joke-he loves a good prank, after all. And if you're struggling with finding gifts for dad this year, frame a special picture of the two of you with a DIY card that says: "What's the difference between a man's wallet before and after kids? There are pictures where the money used to be."

FUNNY CLEAN TEXT MESSAGES CRACK

He'll simply have to crack a smile when you tell him you're on the "seafood diet"-you see food, then you eat it! ( ba-dum tss). We've gathered the best dad jokes to share with your old man on any occasion, whether that's one of his Father's Day messages or simply a good morning text. An indignant dad might ask, what separates a regular joke from a dad joke? Well, according to Miriam Webster, they're a "wholesome joke" that tends to have a punchline that's "an obvious or predictable pun or play on words." Sound familiar? These endearingly cringe-worthy, corny one-liners are a childhood staple! And TBH, sometimes, they're so bad that they're actually funny. Whether your Dad has a funny bone or not, chances are he's told a few dad jokes in his time.